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I finally finished reading the #1 New York Times Bestseller Skinny Bitch, by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin. Skinny Bitch Skinny Bitch is a “no non-sense, tough-love guide for savvy girls who want to stop eating crap and start looking fabulous.”  I was drawn to it because I, too, want to look fabulous! In their book, the authors explained that “sugar” is “the devil”, carbs are “bastard bad boys,” and products labeled “fat free” or “low fat” are nothing more than a “chemical shit storm.”  They also stated that the need for a morning coffee is “pathetic” because “coffee is for pussies.”  I was honestly enjoying the tough, direct, and sometimes cruel tone of the book.  But, then it hit me.  I need my morning coffee!  Somehow, calling the need for my ritual morning coffee “pathetic” because “coffee is for pussies,” is more than I can handle.  Especially because under the theory of this book, needing my morning coffee makes me a pathetic pussy addicted to caffeine, right? It’s way too much for me to handle in a day. I have to admit that I eat tons of carbs, fast food, fats, munchies, sugar, and every non-healthy food available in the market.  In other words, I am a crappy eater.  I really am. But, I am not just any crappy eater.  I am a proud crappy eater.  My day cannot begin without a big bagel with extra cream cheese and, certainty, a morning coffee (I guess that does make me a pathetic pussy caffeine addict after all). I admire people who eat healthy, those that prefer a carrot snack over a bag of Crunchy.  I secretly envy all those “skinny bitches” that use their lunch hour to work out at Curves rather than stuffing themselves with leftover pizzas like I usually do.  I watch them with admiration.  I really do.  And I daydream about how wonderful it will be if I can get rid of those 20 plus pounds that are parked on my body for free.  But, I just can’t.  At least, not yet. The way I see it is that I should not deprive my palate from those delicious prohibited foods that make me temporarily happy.  My days are too busy; too many responsibilities, deadlines, payments, clients, co-workers, and bosses to deal with.  I need the happiness that food brings to my life.  Crappy food makes people happy.  Case in point: A movie night is not fun without a bag of popcorn. A stadium game is not fun without a beer and a hotdog. A birthday cake is not good enough without a scoop of ice cream. For now, this book is going straight to a box that I will bury in my basement.  One day, however, the revolution will begin and I will take control of my weight, body fat, blood pressure, and all those weight related nuisances.  Until then, pass me the cheesecake with extra whipped cream, please! http://www.gossipsecretaries.com/blog/item/there_are_truths_that_i_dont_need_to_hear_or_read_about/